My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
