This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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