So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Randomize
