I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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