I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Did I show you my penis last night?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Randomize
