i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
