Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
