Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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