they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Randomize
