it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize