She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
