Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
