yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
