This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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