All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
