Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
