I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
It's Friday. Sex?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
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