you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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