bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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