Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
