I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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