im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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