Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
