the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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