The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
