So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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