So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
