She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Actions speak louder than pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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