There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
