He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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