We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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