why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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