maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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