I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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