I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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