and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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