I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
