omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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