i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
