All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
