after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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