the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
