don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I need a burrito and a hug.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
The uberlube is also flammable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize