last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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