My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
