I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
