I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
