His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
