Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
