You just made me feel so damn special
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
