yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
