I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
So vagazzling was a success
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
