i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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