I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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