girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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