ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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