I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
