george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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