Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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