he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
