This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Randomize
