btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
is it fun? or sober?
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