Where is the hickey?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
