i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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