Umm I'm too high to move.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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